Endings and beginnings

December 31, 2005

Today marks the end of the year and the beginning of a new year. The past year certainly has been full of changes and challenges for me. The changes have been many and crossed all facets of my life, some of the changes have been good, some bad, some are still undetermined. What I can say for sure is that all of them have made me a stronger person and the door to that part of my life has closed wether I wanted it to or not.

The new year holds many changes and challenges of its own. I need to find a new job, adjust to life in a new house and a new community with all the uncertainty and insecurity that comes with changes of this magnitude. New doors are opening and I hope that I can have the wisdom to recognize them when they do. So many changes have occurred in such a short time that I am still feeling off mentally and emotionally off balance. No matter what I need to become more flexible and more responsive so that I can take advantage of what opportunities and changes should come my way.

Change in my life is disruptive but the lack of change in my life allows me to stagnate. My struggle for this coming year will be finding the balance between the rapidly changing life I have had over the past year and the static stagnation that always lurks just around the bend.


RollWithIt

December 28, 2005

After almost twenty-five years in EMS I have seen many different recruiting and retention projects implemented and seen nearly as many fail miserably because they were either not adequately funded or followed up on or just not interesting enough to attract the attention of the target audience.

When the email containing the URL for Pennsylvania’s “RollWithIt” campaign (broadband and Flash 6 required for best effect) came across my desktop I was skeptical. After watching it was was still skeptical but much less so.

The website starts with a dark page with the question “can you handle it” ? being the focus of attention. I found the page to be attention grabbing and piqued my curiosity. Clicking on the “bring it” link brings a video clip done in Flash that starts right out with an ambulance responding hot to the pounding soundtrack of guitars and drums and pressured rap lyrics. As the clip progresses showing the physically attractive and racially diverse crew responding to their call and treating the patient words and phrases are frequently flashed across the screen; “no doctors”, “no hospitals”, “no time to lose”, “heart in your throat”, “lives in the palm of your hands”. rolling with EMS”, “can you handle it”, and “only the string”. The lyrics are not always clearly understandable but fortunately they are in small print in the initial page.

I have to say that the video held my attention and I thought that, as a music video, it was well done. With a soundtrack like that as a recruiting tool I would be very likely to consider a job in EMS, or at least investigating the possibility.

The remainder of the website is dedicated to putting more information into the hands of perspective candidates. Descriptions of EMT’s and paramedics job responsibilities, listings of educational opportunities and even a list of some job openings in the State of Pennsylvania are included. Definitely enough information to get people pointed in the right direction. As a recruiting project this one seems to have been reasonably well thought out, targeted at the right people, young ones (hey, dinosaurs like me won’t be around forever), I truly hope that the effort is sustained and funded enough to make it work.

Still, I am skeptical. While this tool showed the “glory” side and worked hard to get the adrenaline pumping I have doubts about the long term results. Is it an honest portrayal ofEMS in the majority of communities? I didn’t see any of the routine, mundane, and even distasteful type of calls that fill the bulk of our shifts. The boredom, the low pay, the long hours were not discussed.

I understand why the producers elected to make a video the way that they did. Let’s face it, showing a crew doing the fifth or sixth dialysis transfer or intoxicated person is not going to attract people to EMS. I wonder just how many people, attracted to EMS by this type of portrayal will remain at the end of, say, five years. My gut tells me a minority and this spells trouble for EMS. We don’t just need people now but we also need the same people to be here ten years from now to be the core of experienced, seasoned providers who can help educate the next generation. Beyond that we need the same people to be here twenty, twenty-five, even thirty years from now to convince the incoming providers thatEMS is indeed a job with a future, and an actual career instead of just a stepping stone to something else.

My hope is that recruitment efforts like RollWithIt can attract enough people into EMS that at the end of a few years enough will have been bitten by “the EMS bug” to stay for the long term and be the firm foundation that EMS needs so that it can grow and prosper for the future.


Be careful what you wish for

December 27, 2005

Strange things are afoot. I got a telephone call regarding one of the jobs I had applied for. The recruiter was making a verbal offer of a part time contract with a hospital based transporting ALS service. You would think that after all of the fretting I had done up to this point that I would be doing backflips about not only having an offer but an offer with a pay cut of only around 10% from what I had been making before my move.

I should be ecstatic with this position yet I find myself feeling relieved but still apprehensive. While the service is considered one of the most progressive in the state it is not the “perfect situation” that I left behind. I am finding the dividing line between the pros and the cons much more distinct and the good things are very good and the bad things are very bad. I’m having a hard time finding the area in between.

I also can’t forget the drastic change in call volumes and how that will factor in to my satisfaction. It seems strange that at this time in my career, when so many of my contemporaries are looking to slow down (or even retire from EMS) or move into management or administrative positions that I am looking to maintain or even increase my call volume.

I need to sleep on this and think about it on a clearer head.


Breaking the surface

December 26, 2005

It’s been over a week since I have been able to write anything, even longer than that since I have been able to wrote anything of substance. Much has happened and so much of it I still need to sort out and try to figure out how to put it down on paper (or pixels as the case may be).

Over the past eight days I have watched the rest of my life packed into boxes, everything loaded onto two trucks and taken away, only to reappear the following day a couple of hundred miles distant and unloaded into a house that, while I owned, seemed so foreign that I struggled to recognize it as “home”.

Logistically the move itself went fairly smoothly with only a few damaged items and a single box that has been either lost or just misplaced. All of the valuable/important/meaningful things made it in one piece. Even my sanity seems to have survived reasonably intact, although between my depression and the “dark season” being upon us I have been getting the psychological “sh*t” kicked out of me. I’m hoping that once my home is out of boxes again and I have some ordered and somewhat familiar surroundings things might get better.

Still, no matter how I look at it I am breaking the surface and I am starting to see the glimmer of hope for order to return to my life.


Going dark

December 19, 2005

The movers have arrived to start the packing and loading process. This, of course means that it is only a matter of time before my umbilical cord to the wired world is cut. Barring an open wireless node somewhere along the way I don’t expect to be able to update here until my move is complete.

In the meantime I continue to try and spin this in a positive light. Where a door closes another opens. It’s got to be true or I could be in serious trouble.


Boxes, more boxes, and even more boxes

December 18, 2005

The entire weekend has been a mad dash of box packing and saying goodbye to friends. My entire life seems in such a disarray right now that it’s a wonder that I can function at all. It’s going to get worse before it gets better, I know that, and I can only hope that the worse comes quickly so it can pass equally as quickly.


Homeowner again

December 16, 2005

It’s been another long day complicated by awful weather and a delayed start of the school day. Our plan for today was to leave our old home around 0830 and head north to where we would be closing on our new home. If we followed our plan we would have plenty of time to do our walkthrough, visit the post office and the bank, and even go get our new drivers licenses before the closing at 1500.

What didn’t go as planned was the weather. School was delayed by two hours requiring us to scramble to find care for our children before we could leave. We made it on the road by 0900, not too bad, we still had a chance. Alas it was just not to be. The rain was torrential for the entire trip coming down hard enough that the beating of it on the roof of the car drowned out the radio and much of the conversation if we didn’t raise our voices.

The trip took much longer than expected and it wouldn’t be until almost 1300 that we would arrive at the hospital for my wife to sign yet more papers for her credentials. A quick bite in the hospital cafeteria and we were off to get to the house in time for the walkthrough and closing. We were, there right on time.

The walkthrough itself was pretty uneventful with only a few minor things found and none of them major enough to delay our actual purchase.

The closing itself would take place at the model condo unit a couple of doors away. The developer built a number of condo units in the development and then filled in along the town streets with single family homes.

The closing was a blur of paperwork requiring initials here, signatures here, this one notarized, that one filed with the town. By the end of the hour the stack of papers was quite impressive. The important thing was that we now owned a home again. To a lesser degree it was a bit sobering to realize just how much debt we had just assumed and for how long we would be paying it off.

By this time it was already 1700, all the other stops we had wanted to make were just not going to happen. Fortunately by Tuesday night we will be permanent residents and I will, in theory, have more time to get these things done. With the number of boxes that we will need to unpack I have to wonder just how much time I will actually have for the first couple of weeks.

The rain finally died out by the time we left for home and while it was a little slick in spots where the temperature had fallen below freezing at least we could talk without shouting.


Is that light at the end of the tunnel, or …..

December 14, 2005

It feels like most of my home and belongings are in boxes and I am finding it very unsettling. Life is in a state of flux right now and I am struggling to try to maintain an even keel, barely. The end is in sight, a week from today we will be in our new house, and our new neighbourhood, for better or worse. Then it will be time to unpack the boxes. I really hope that the act of unpacking them will be more settling and comforting than packing them has been.

The job front no better. I haven’t heard from the first hospital even though the HR rep said they would be back to me early in the week. I’m hoping that this just means that they are having a difficult time getting in touch with one of my references and not that they have lost interest. The second hospital has finally called me but, so far, I have been unable to reach the HR rep there.

I have been researching as much as I can and have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I should be doing. The jobs are very different, transport vs. non-transport, urban versus rural, RSI versus no RSI, 12 hour shifts versus 24 hour shifts, both are ED based but that is pretty much where the similarities end. I’m afraid that each one has elements that draw me to them and elements that worry me. The transport service is busier by 60% to 70% but they are also a transport service and I would be doing the lift and carry routine again. The non-transport service has a smaller call volume but is all ALS. Both are double medic systems. The staff at the transport service are rumored to have a bit more attitude, a little more “we’re good, we know it, and you should know it too”. On the other hand they are considered the top paramedic services in the state leading the way with many of the scope of practice expansions that have occurred over the years and have the highest pay rate. The non-transport service seems a little more laid back, a little more “low impact”, more like I have been for most of my career.

In the ED the differences are much more apparent. The transport service uses the paramedics essentially as nurses and the staffing levels in the ED are adjusted accordingly. The non-transport service uses the paramedics to augment the nursing staff and as a clinical resource. I want to work with nurses, not replace them and feel like if EMS is having a busy shift at the transport service that would leave the ED understaffed.

I’m just unsure, I want the clinical challenge, I would love being out towards the “bleeding edge”, and paid closer to what I have been making but I also want to work in a system where the prevailing attitude is similar to mine and it feels like what I have just left. What I really wish is that I didn’t have to leave my job here, it really is where I really want to be.

With so much of our stuff packed up I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My uncertainty with potential employment makes me wonder if that light is the end of the tunnel or a train barreling down the tunnel at top speed ready to derail me.

iTunes playing Stop This World from the album “The Girl in the Other Room” by Diana Krall


KMG-365

December 12, 2005

I have received a number of requests as to the source of my “Squad 51″ ring tone. Enough requests that I am comforted to know that I am not the only dinosaur out there.

I downloaded the sound clip in an mp3 format at emergencyfans.com. On my particular phone the upoad required me to connect the phone to my Wintel computer via USB and using the “Mobilephone tools” that came with the phone. Your phone may be different. It took all of five minutes. Your milage may and your actual procedure may vary.

Enjoy.


I miss it already

December 11, 2005

It’s been almost a week since my last clinical shift and I am already missing it. No matter how I look at it it will be a few weeks before I can expect to see my next patient, quite possibly not until 2006. I am a little amazed at how much that is unsettling me.

The schedule for the next couple of weeks is going to be hectic and I expect that updates will be sporadic at best. This week is mostly packing and we will close on the purchase of our new house on Friday. Monday the movers show up to start loading the truck, we leave on Tuesday and stay in a hotel for the night, and Wednesday we will be spending the day unloading the truck and unpacking everything that we have spent the past couple of weeks putting into boxes.

I’m hoping that I will hear regarding last weeks interview tomorrow or the next day. It would be a little comforting to know that I have a job to go to. The volunteer service is still waiting to hear from their medical director as to what they want me to do as far as credentials goes. They just aren’t sure, they have no precedent when it comes to bringing on a paramedic with this much time in the field. Whatever it takes, I just want to get back into the field.